Day 1, Lesson 1: KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT
by valleylightning
Summary: This will be the FIRST of my ShikaTema series. There was always that time of the month that Tsunade pulls out Shikamaru from desk works and from missions for a special one, a visitor princess's escort in Konoha.AND SHE STARTS DAY 1,THIS MONTH WITH A BANG.
1. Escort

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto and any of its characters

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Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. 

**William Congreve**

The Mourning Bride

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CHAPTER 1

ESCORT

"Seriously, do you think I need an escort?!"

"No."

"Then why are you doing this? It not like I'm going to be attacked and die while I'm shopping!"

"Yeah. Yeah. But I'll be the one who is going to be attacked by a certain Hokage and Kazekage and die if I don't. Just troublesome! It's just that those two haven't gotten into their sense that you are one scary woman and no one would dare attack you."

"SCARY?!"

"W-w-wait, Temari! Just-just used the wrong words. I meant bloodcurdling. Uhm-uh no, not that---"

"NARA SHIKAMARU!"

She hit him hard enough with her powerful folded fan to knock him down semi-conscious, and stomped away, mumbling.

"ME? Blood-whatever…Hell, don't know what that word even is! Nothing good ever comes out of that pineapple head's mouth. Why can't he just be like a pineapple, all eyes, no mouth!"

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Shikamaru was one brilliant strategist. As lazy and cowardly as he admits he is, as soon as he assumes his thinking position and his incredible brain starts working there's no defeat, the plan is perfect. This talent gained him his chuunin title and the privilege of leading teams and saved the lives of many shinobis in more than one count. He scrupulously studies every angle and possibilities even the immeasurable angles and impossible possibilities and thinks of a hundred plans to execute a task. He was not a step ahead but always a hundred step ahead of the enemy.

If only he also does that before opening his mouth. He would've saved himself from the wrath of one blonde Suna princess. But then again, Temari was no enemy or opponent, well not this time.

Scientifically speaking that may explain his lack of zeal; the brain consumes almost 80 percent of our energy everyday. The way he thinks, may have consumed a whole lot! If only Chouji and Ino had Shikamaru's brain he wouldn't have gained so much weight and she wouldn't have to go on unhealthy diets. But the Asuma team could have only one genius, as if handling one Einstein sloth was not enough!

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Even in his semi-conscious state Shikamaru uttered his signature line "How troublesome." He slowly got up as he gradually got hold of his spinning head. "_Tsunade-sama__ should've let me stay with paper works. Escorting a woman, let alone __Temari__ of __Suna__, is worst than an S-class mission_!" he thought. "Any more of these I am gonna have BRAIN DAMAGE." He's right and there would be one less genius in Konoha.

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Genius as he is, Shikamaru just could not decipher women. They are too complicated! Women loved to be praised and recognized for their independence and by no mistake he just did and got a bump on the head for doing so. He was just not good in putting them into words though. You have to agree with Shikamaru, she is one scary woman.

Giving up on their match on the chuunin exam was one of Sikamaru's best made decisions in life. If he had continued, he is one mashed pineapple head. He witnessed another horrifying act when she killed Tayuya of the Sound Four in one powerful swish. He had a hell of a time pinning her and it took only one swing of a fan to defeat the enemy and clear the forest at the same time!

Temari was one of the feminists. She demands equal treatment. If that is so, why do women complain when men don't open doors or offer seats to them? Having brothers like Kankuro and Gaara could intensify that attitude. She was the eldest and in charge of the eerie puppeteer who spends twice the time putting make up than her, and a kazekage that used to be the blood thirsty Shukaku. She was influential to these two powerful men. She has the respect of Suna's shinobis and the people of other villages because more than being the sister of the Kazekage, she is one powerful and skillful ninja.

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After dusting off his chuunin uniform, he tried to feel his jarred head with hands, convinced that it was still intact, he let out a sigh of both relief and objection, he has to look for Temari or his head will not be the only ones damaged. He has thought just letting her go around without him having to tail her but he was warned by the Hokage that if she hears any reports from her spies that the blonde Suna princess is seen without him she's going to break his bones to billions that it would look as if he was cremated.

"_Where should I start?"_ He thought of the possible places Temari would be going. He had been escorting her for so long that he practically knows her favorite shops, food stalls, and the places she retreats when she got tired of shopping. He looked for about a good half hour but still, no trace of the blonde. "FOUR DAYS. Just four days more and she's going back to Suna. Well that would be a week if we'll include the three days we have to travel back to Suna. How troublesome…" he let out a sigh again.

Then like a ray of light, a blonde head with four sets bundled hair shined behind a window shop. He finally spotted her! He rushed into the shop to reprimand her of what she did. And he just found himself in an inconvenient place!

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The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?"

**Sigmund Freud**

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Just where did he find himself?

You could just think of sooo many possibilities.

Answers are next!


	2. Critic

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

**Marcelene**** Cox**

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CHAPTER 2

CRITIC

"Temari of Suna!" He called as he rushed to the shop as soon as he spotted her from outside.

"You are just troublesome. Don't do that again." he said. He was quite aware he said that once before; and a hundred times before that; every time she runs away from him. "I'd like to keep myself alive so you, woman, are—"before he could finish his sentence he noticed where he was and gulped. "—are not—leaving my- my- my sight agai—" He found himself in a little bit of a tight situation. He should've read the signage outside!

"I'm sorry…" he said as he couldn't think of any other word to say to excuse himself. His face flushed red.

Temari had her blushing moment too; she was caught in the middle of her LINGERIE shopping holding a delicately laced two piece black bikini. They were still on their individual hangers and she was putting them just right over her chest and hips while trying to see herself right in front of the mirror and imagine how it would look on her. As soon as she heard Shikamaru's voice she turned to him, unknowingly she still held the delicate articles over the "sensual" areas. As soon as it got to her senses, she snapped out of her moment of embarrassment and proud as she is she kept her poise and crossed her arms.

"SORRY?! You'd better be." She said, still with a warm flushed face, but trying to act like the dominant snob princess to minimize the embarrassment. Both were quiet for some time trying to generate words to say in that embarrassing situation. Both wondering where have all the words gone when they needed them the most!

"B-but why should I apologize? " He finally got hold of that dictionary on his brain to create a sentence. "You were the one who hit me with that enormous fan. You were the one who left me half conscious in the middle of the street. You were the one who took off and I had to look for you, and it was like looking for a needle on a hay staff!" He retaliated. Shikamaru may be a lazy man, but still a man and has an "ego" to protect.

"Now it's my fault?! You were the one who annoyingly followed me around and you were the one who called me 'scary'. And you're saying it's my fault?!"

"It was supposed to be a compliment and you responded by injuring me! It's not like I followed you around because I want to. I have orders."

"Compliment?! Since when was 'scary' a compliment? You're a genius Nara Shikamaru, couldn't you think of a better word? Strong would do. And why the hell would I want you around me while I shop for- for-" She tried to utter the words 'lingerie' but it just brought her back to that moment of embarassment, which made her blush again. "—these." She finished.

They were silent again.

"Sorry." Shikamaru said. He thought, what's the point of being a genius if you can't win an argument with a blonde chick? He was never into these heated arguments. It was a waste of energy yelling out your anger. But with Temari, it was always a special case. He always had that need to say anything to her and it had gotten him into trouble several times. And it was always the case that his sense of passivity would soon take place and give in to whatever she says. He had to admit; she's right. Why would any woman want to be called scary? Why would any woman want a man watching her pick her intimates? Why would he want to be in this shop in the first place?! What if the other guys would see him in here? Now THAT will be troublesome!

Knowing that she won—again, got the shame out her veins and felt relieved. She always loved that Shikamaru always ends up losing in their debates, not that she loved the fact he loses, but the prize of winning a word war with Konoha's genius sounds empowering. She loses a lot on other things like the game of shougi, and even ironically lost to the fight that she won the fist time they met, when he became a chuunin and she did not! She admits that though his laziness and constant complaining could get in her nerves but in the end his passive nature fits right well with her personality.

"Well ok, ok… We've wasted too much time talking. I've got more shopping to do." She said rolling her eyes. Then she went on with what she did earlier, checking the two piece laced black bikini she picked.

"We'd be busy these last three days with all the orders my brother and Tsunade-sama are giving us. We'd also have to meet her in two hours." She said as she continued to check the articles, still putting them over her chest and hips facing the mirror, deciding whether to buy it or not.

"_What's taking her so long? She's been here more than half an hour ago she should've decided what to buy! Women_." He thought. He sported that lazy, complaining look of his and scratched his head. "How troublesome…"

Hearing those infamous lines got into her nerves yet again. "Well, stop complaining and make yourself useful Shikamaru!" She turned to him. "Do you think this will look good on me?"

"_Why in the world is she's asking me?!"_He screamed in his mind.

"Well?" she impatiently asked. "Be the critic. Think, genius!"

Shikamaru tried to think, more of like imagine, and it turned him beet red and felt that all his blood rushed to his head drowning his brain and it was too much that he had a nosebleed!

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The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

**Helen Rowland**

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I knew this was too predictable…. Some reviewers got it on first guess!

Hehe…

But you have to admit, this was the best place they have to be to spark "interest".


	3. Epistaxis

You can tell a lot about a person from her underwear.

Rachel Bilson

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EPISTAXIS

Women's underwear has become more than just under-wear these days. It has become a statement. As they say, a woman is as sexy as she feels and as sexy as the lingerie she wears. It has evolved from a simple under garment for understandable purposes to a piece of clothing that defines a woman's character; from simple cotton material to those trimmed with expensive diamonds; from long dress under garments of the old English era to today's close-to-nothing string bikinis, which could make one just ask, '_What's the point of wearing one?'_

When Temari did not get a reply from her question, she then thought maybe this laced black C cup bra and ultra low waist boy-leg panty is not as good as she thought. But she liked it! So she gave it a second look, well it was the nth second look. It was expensive and she had to make a decision. She had to make sure she won't regret buying it, which usually happens the moment she gets home from shopping.

"Say something Shikamaru, at least help me decide if I'd buy these or not." She said with mild tone desperation. She had a hell of a time deciding, and it's close to driving her nuts!

"Do-you-think-this-will-look-good-on me?" she restated her question.

Shikamaru thought that his head was getting a lot of damage that day, as if the concussion was not enough, his brain had to deal with an oversupply of blood brought about by one question--"_Do you think this will look good on me?"_She asked! Yes, she ASKED again!

She asked him earlier to think or _imagine _if it would look good on her!

_"__Those tiny feminine things on __her__"_

_"__Her wearing only __those__"_

_"Temari__ half __naked__"_

He was still dumb-founded by her question that he let the statement run through his mind over and over, interpreted in different words, and not to mention, the thought that stuck in his imagination was causing the inevitable phenomenon of epistaxis, which we should simply call nosebleed in layman's terms. He wasn't aware of these; the unintentionally made fantasy Temari enforced on his head was causing the mild 'hemorrhage' and was keeping him from reality.

"Shikamaru." She called. "Hey, Shikamaru!" she called again. She had probably called his name quite a few times but he never heard her. Blood must've drowned his perception and clogged his ears or again he simply may just be too preoccupied with 'that' thought.

"NARA SHIKAMARU!" Temari shouted.

That last call snapped him back to reality. He then finally perceived her, the Temari that was in that room, the Temari that is wearing that black kimono and red obi, and The Temari that was looking at him with those crooked brows and questioning eyes.

_"Shit! She noticed? She's read my mind?__Shit!__ I'm doomed!"_ He thought. Temari was sure to pound him to pieces with her fan. _"Does she know what's __on my mind?"_ He wondered as he noticed she was coming closer to him. Still looking at him with '_those'_ eyes. "_It's not my fault! She asked me __to think, so I pictured her__—wearing that…" _He looked at the articles again which she now tucked on her left underarm and as she took few more steps closer to him.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"_What's wrong with me? She's asking what's wrong__ with me?! You don't wanna know, __Temari!__ And it's better not to tell you__" _He screamed in his head. "_I'm no pervert! Really! I'm not! I just happened to be male!"_

It was and always has been the worst and most overused excuse the male species has created and the society has adapted to. Being a man is not a license to give in to physiologic needs, and such needs are so basic and so primeval but at the emergence of civilization and modernization; it has ceased to be the only reason for existence. Yes, go ahead blame it on your sexual category; blame it on the hormones, but really, more than that, there is his brain and his judgment. It's not that we should not consider those aspects though. There are things that may stir up those hormones but it is always up to a man's decision how to react to and act on that biological surge. That is just an opinion though. True, there are uncontrollable situations, one of which Shikamaru never saw coming.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

"N-nothing." Was all he could say. He had a whole lot of words swarming his head but 'nothing' was the safest and only word he could utter for now.

"Nothing? Are you sure?" she asked. Temari was sure he wasn't.

"Nothing."

"Really?" She moved closer to him. For Shikamaru, she was getting dangerously closer. He took a step back but it was as far as he could go. One more step and he will hit that half-naked mannequin behind him.

"_This is it. I'm dead. I-AM-DEAD." _ He told himself.

As cautious as a ninja that he is, he quickly noticed her raise her free right hand. He watched it so cautiously that it moved in such a slow motion. He watched it, bracing himself knowing that it may reach for her enormous fan and blow him off a hundred miles away or it may close up to a fist and meet his face. The direction her hand was going, it was possibly reaching for the fan she always carried behind her, but then it stopped… midway her chest. His eyes widened as he saw what she was about to do next! She slipped her fingers under the neckline of her black kimono.

"_WHAT IS SHE DOING?!" _he screamed in his head with shock and disbelief. He could not possibly take this much. "_Is she teasing me? No, that's not like Temari. She is TORTURING me! She knows what's in my head and she's using it against me!" _ With better judgment, and a descent man that he is he quickly took his eyes off her hand, and shut it tight.

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Man has will, but woman has her way. _**Oliver Wendell Holmes**_

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Sorry, another shortie.. heehee… Brevity is just my style.

Before you jump to any conclusions, read the next chap first, okie?!

For those who may be offended with my opinions, those were just MY opinions, feel free to share yours… send me a message or anything. I'm OPEN to those.

Thanks for the reviews/alert/fave, beerbelly, temari.fl, jimu, peckforever, pixiefh, ThisIsntClaire, IgnisDivine… and if you reviewed/faved/alerted but not on the list, probably you posted it just after I posted this chap… I'll thank you next time! And that will be very soon!


	4. Smart Shopper

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best.

**Latin Proverb**

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SMART SHOPPER

Living the life of a shinobi is like living your life at the edge of a cliff. Danger is always lurking just around the corner. Vigilance is vital for survival. Every move is critical; missing a single millimeter could mean life or death. For such reasons, shinobis were honed to be very keen with their senses. As each were vital to their tasks from assassination and espionage to simply helping plow a field and finding a missing cat.

Unfortunately for Shikamaru, instead of helping him, such skills are worsening the situation. His keen sense of sight, though not as powerful as the Byakugan or Sharingan, had him cautiously take note of Temari's free right hand, which he noticed were femininely and delicately shaped, with nails painted a color close to her skin tone, and which HE ALSO NOTICED she slipped to a sensual area under her kimono's neckline by her cleavage. He had to forcibly shut his eyes. Well, for good reasons. If he'd continued look, the small trickle of blood on his nose would end up a flood. He was a man, as much as he wanted to take advantage of that given opportunity, he didn't. He was not just a man, he was a gentleman, more often than not. He hates women's guts but still he respects them. And of course genius as he is, he knows that fixing his eyes on her hand and what she is about to do would make him just give in to this "naughty" game she is playing. He definitely has no plans to.

Closing his eyes was good decision. But as naturally as it comes to shinobis, his other senses heightened when he closed his eyes. They had to somehow compensate. His ears, which earlier were temporarily shut off from reality, were now extremely receptive. She might've taken the lightest steps but he could hear her them as she comes closer. The closer she got, he could hear her breathing.

He may not have Kiba's nor Akamaru's nose but she was just a few steps away so he could smell her scent which he actually liked. It was not too feminine and was not too strong either. But he did not like the fact that he is now able to sense her scent, that only means she is getting close, very close.

Now, his skin could feel the warmth as she was just a few inches away. He knew she was _dangerously_ close and though without contact her warmth seemed to exuberate. He was then curious as well as afraid.

_"__Is this an aura she is carrying out of anger or was her body in heat for other __reasons?"_ he thought.

"_Stop__ thinking__."_ He said to himself as he gave his head a mental slap. What's the point of closing his eyes so he couldn't see the picture when his mind keeps building up ideas and paints the_picture_ distinctly on his head? He hates to admit but he is close to losing to the game Temari is playing. She was good at playing this mind game with him. He was a genius but he was a total idiot to the games women play.

"_Women are just troublesome!" _He thought. He always thought they were and they still ARE troublesome to him.

Though he could not see, he could feel her take her last step and stop. He felt she was about to do something. Something he thinks isn't right. She should not do it here! Not in public. Not around him. Not to him. Not with him. Somebody has got to stop her. Somebody has to! Then that somebody has to be him.

"STOP!" he said aloud as he opened his eyes and grabbed Temari's right wrist to stop her.

"What?!" she heard her say. Then she saw what she had on her hand…

"A handkerchief?" he asked with a mixed up confused, surprised and relieved face.

"Yeah, what does it look like? A kunai?" she asked with a raised brow.

"_A kunai__… yes she could've pulled out a kunai or any other things. Why did I have to think of something far out… something… naughty? __Scheez__… What's happening to my head?" _He thought.

"Wipe that stupid look on your face. "She said. "And that blood on your nose." She lightly placed her hanky on his nose.

_"__Blood?__Nose?__I had a nosebleed!__?" _he asked himself. He was totally unaware of it until just now. He had thought things like getting a nosebleed over some "mischievous" thoughts or sights happened only on movies and Japanese animated motion pictures, but here he is, inevitably experiencing one. He realized as well, that having this nosebleed was like being caught red handed on having perverted thoughts of her.

"_Shit! I'm REALLY going to be DEAD!"_ he thought again. He stood still but his head was all over the place!

"Shikamaru." She called. "Hey, Shikamaru." She called again. He snapped out of his thoughts and focused on her, calling. Then she saw that he finally caught his attention, she commanded. "I can't hold this hanky for you forever, you know. I have to pay for these." She said as she pulled the articles off her left underarm with her left arm, accidentally lightly running the articles on his face, sliding off his skin. He knew he felt another gush of blood on his nose, he was aware this time, and good thing her hanky was there to catch it. He then took over her hand on the hanky to hold it in place and watched her step back and then walk over to the cashier.

She placed them over the counter and dug into her purse to pay for the items. She was handing her paper bills. Then she turned Shikamaru.

"Hey, Shikamaru." she called again.

"_What is it this time?" _he thought, feeling annoyed

"Could you spare 20 cents? They don't have change."

Without a word he dug into his pockets, his other hand still holding on to her hanky on his nose. When he found some, he walked over to her and the cashier and placed the coins on the counter.

"Thank you, sir." said the clerk with a smile, and then the smile turned into an inquisitive look. "What happened to you?" the nosy clerk asked. She noticed a blood on the thin hanky.

"Nothi-" Shikamaru said but Temari cut him off.

"It's nothing. It's just between us. Okay?" she said with a fake smile. Shikamaru just tossed his eyes away from the two ladies.

"Okay." Said the clerk with a funny-teasing smile and tone of voice. "Seriously ma'am, I think you're one SMART shopper!" She complimented Temari, who was on the other hand confused whether she should take the compliment or not.

"Uhm- thanks. I guess." She replied.

" oh, pish-posh. You're so humble! Smart shoppers like you take their boyfriends to lingerie shopping! They know what looks good on you…" She commented. Both blushed. Shikamaru and Temari ha a LOT to say in protest but both stuttered in enunciating the first syllable. The clerk held the items up to see it for herself and then added. "And I should say your boyfriend has _GREAT _taste!" This time both were speechless and both turned beet red!

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A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

**Lana Turner**

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All I can say is…

To be continued….

And yet another shortie. Sorry guys!

It's part of my style. That and I have short attention span on anything I do!

Thanks to the new bunch of readers who took time to review/fave: Temari no Sabaku, kitsune-grl, and myrthill! Thanks a lot for encouraging me!

Arigato Gozaimasu!


	5. Forgotten

whew! I last updated this Jan 13, 2008! that's 2008!

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To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.  
_Helen Rowland_

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**FORGOTTEN**

"Crazy lady!" Temari stormed out of the lingerie shop. "Couldn't she mind her own business?"

"Temari!" he called, following her. She did not notice. Her mind was too occupied with curses against the nosy shop attendant.

"_BOYFRIEND? Him? She's got to be kidding me! I wouldn't date that sloth of a ninja even if he's the last man on earth!" _She screamed in her head stomping her way further from the shop and towards the park, hoping that the trees and sceneries out there will help cool her flaming head.

She hated him. Well, hate may be too strong a word, maybe she just dislike him. She could very well enumerate the reasons.

He's lazy. He looks, acts and even smells lazy! He's the best definition of the word!

He calls her a lot of names. Bitch, woman, bossy, to name a few. Today, he calls her SCARY. Her? Temari? Scary? Of course not! She's a very tough independent kunoichi, dominant older sister to Gaara, who was once a vessel to Shukaku, now the powerful Kazekage, and Kankuro who was once a creepy puppeteer, now an even creepier puppeteer. "_Wait._" She stopped her trail of thought. She has control over her scary brothers that may make her the scarier one. Maybe he's got a point on this one. Of course she would not admit it to his face and _he_ should not have said it to _her face_ either!

He follows her around like a shadow. Well he's a shadow master but that doesn't mean he can be her shadow. It feels suffocating! If only she could murder the person who assigned him to her it'll give her a bit of revengeful satisfaction but that would mean her murdering the Hokage and possibly surge a war between her country and Konoha. It'll be very troublesome.

Speaking of which, he utters the word 'troublesome' a gazillion times in one day! Those three syllables irritate her to the bones, most of which is because it was he who utters it and his impeccable timing of saying it at times she would least be glad to hear it.

And the list goes on and on and on. But a very familiar annoying voice interrupted her thoughts.

"OI, TEMARI!" shouted Shikamaru who has called her many, many times but she was just too drowned in her thoughts.

"WHAT?" She screamed turning 180 degrees to face the annoying man tailing her. "WHAT IS IT THIS TIME, NARA?" Shikamaru came to a sudden halt from his fast paced strides as she suddenly faced him. The blonde had a face red with fury; he could swear she looked like she was on fire!

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Why was she infuriated with such trivial stuff? He thinks it was such a waste of energy. Yeah the clerk mistook them to be a couple. A simple "_no we're not" _reply would have cleared things out; cursing and fury, _not_ necessary. Though it took him a while to recover from shock and embarrassment to give that reply, and he _did_ correct the clerk. No, he's not the boyfriend who's helping his girlfriend pick the perfect lingerie that looks perfect on her and is perfect feast for his eyes. Put it simply he's not her boyfriend, she's not his girlfriend.

Even he a genius did not know it's a smart practice for women to tag along their man for bra and panty shopping. Well it has some logic to it, who else would she wear them for, right? So her man's opinion highly counts!

"Shit!' he cursed to himself. Why was he even trying to rationalize the situation? Why did he even have interest to rationalize? It pissed him that her simple lingerie and the series of unfortunate events that hitched along with it got his mind and imagination worked out! That's tiring.

He's supposed to be hating her! Hating? Well maybe not hate. Maybe he simply _disliking _her. Well at least at this part they seem to agree on. They don't hate each other, they just simply, **dislike** each other.

There's a lot of things he hates—er, dislikes about her. Where should he start?

She's bossy and very good at that! Extremely good! She's at a level of super sanin when it comes to bossiness.

He calls him names! Crybaby, lazy ass, idiot and too many more, too painful mention! Well, he would not care so much if only she doesn't say it to his face, around his friends, her friends and their superiors almost all the time. It's demeaning for a man. He's a lazy man, but till a man! Well there may be a tiny bit of truth to them…maybe a little more. He did cry at that failed mission to retrieve Sasuke, but that was several years ago! Lazy? Of course he has every right to be! He's a Nara after all. It's their genetic design. Nara and laziness are two nouns you can't separate. And being a Nara means being a genius and she calls him an **idiot. **Yes, he is a genius alright, but he's a total idiot when it comes to women. I think most men, genius or not will agree on this one. Temari just happens to be a woman. But he will never admit all of this to her face.

She tries almost everything to get away from him. He would too if only he can. It's not like he enjoys escorting a blonde bag of trouble. It was the Hokage that assigned him to the mission. She tells him that he could very well accept or decline, but she would not take NO for an answer and he'll lose his job if he refuses. What's the point of giving him a choice if the other choice is not an option. He might very well keep his job or a woman scarier than the Hokage named Yoshino a.k.a. his mother will nag him day in and out and he will not hear the end of it.

TROUBLESOME. The women in his life are simply troublesome. And the most troublesome of all, Temari, hates _the word_ every time he says it. Like who is she to tell him not to express himself. He'll utter the word 'troublesome' whenever he wants, to whoever he wants.

His head was too busy _disliking_ her that next thing he knew she was gone stomping away so fast that she forgot the 'things' she shopped and paid for. The clerk handed the black and pink colored paper bag with its _controversial_ contents. He groaned and reluctantly took it. He'd be dead embarrassed if he was caught carrying this paper bag with a huge print of the store's name. The paper bag simply screams 'this bag contains sexy female underwear'. He had to hurriedly take long fast strides to catch up with her. And when he did he was welcomed with an infuriated red face which later was still red—blushing red, when he said out loud-

"Temari, you forgot your underwear!" Then he paused. "Shit. That did not sound right."

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Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female.  
_Desmond Morris_

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**I'm inspired. you'll be hearing from me often from now on.**


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